Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
The “OK” priest said something very beautiful. God takes people, er, old, because they have already done what they should have done. God takes people young para hindi na makita ng bata ang kasamaan sa mundo. I'm not sure about the first part but the second I'm sure. And if memory doesn't fail me I believe this was taken from the book of Proverbs. Amazing.
I see a sickly child coughing. Her mother is playing with him while waiting for her hamburgers to cook in a local hamburger stand. The place smells diesel from the tricycles running amok just outside. I pay 26 pesos for two hamburgers drenched in cooking oil recycled many times.
I met a boy who offered me his turon. I said I'm not in the mood for one, so he asked me to treat him one instead. He claimed he hasn't eaten lunch yet. I asked how much they were. Ten pesos. I reached my pocket for ten pesos. He sort of wanted to ask me to give him twenty pesos at least, but I already handed him the money. I walked away. I didn't cared to check if he's actually going to eat a turon. He probably used the ten pesos to buy solvent. I supported child labor. I went inside my car, burnt gasoline at the rate of 1.8 liters. No one else was with me.
Just last night, www.jabberwacky.com asked me “is the earth mostly vicious?”
I pay 45 pesos on a bus ride from Ayala to San Pedro. I reached the street market in San Pedro. I alight. I headed for the tricycle stand. I asked how much a special ride is. Bente-kwatro. I boarded. We were off. Thinking about how tricycles should be discouraged in San Pedro because of their sheer number, and to practice asserting myself, I tried to haggle the fare. Bente nalang ho. Without a word he made a U-turn and headed back to the pila ng tricycle. Then he muttered. Sana sumabit ka nalang. Ang tagal-tagal ng pila. Ang mahal ng gasolina. Ganyan talaga eh. I pleaded sige ho ibalik nyo na ho. 24 na ang bayad ko senyo.
I heard someone scream taho. I stopped my who-knows-how-much-bike with its hydraulic disc brakes. Headed for the vendor. I asked magkano po. May sampu, may lima. Yung lima lang po. He scooped concoctions on a small plastic cup. I inspected the surroundings. Human refuse littered the place. A lady slipped on a gutter. She was wearing slippery sandals, add to that the fact that the gutter has accumulated lumot which made the gutter even slippier. She wounded her hands. I had cotton, betadine and agua on my backpack but I didn't care to offer. I didn't know what happened to her next. The taho vendor handed me my cup. I scrounged my bag for a five-peso coin but a five-hundred bill is getting in the way. I found a twenty-peso bill and gave it. He gave back fifteen pesos. Children were playing about the littered road. A really young kid was playing around naked. Her mother is just at the side, seeing the whole ordeal.
Repulsed by the sight, I pushed my bike further out, with handlebars and a cup of taho on my right hand. I pushed my bike up a gutter. Taho spilled all over my gloves and bike. I used the cotton in my backpack to clean the mess.
I hope I'm immature. Because if I'm not then wala talaga akong kwentang tao.
And many other personal things.
Lord please kill me now.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Kakaimpulse-buy ko lang ng isang tatlong libong calculator. Yun LANG kasi ang available sa National Bookstore. Pinagisipan ko naman, mga sampung minuto. Kelangan ko kasi talaga ng matinong calculator, lalo na at exam ko pa bukas. Inisip ko, wala naman talaga ako sa market para sa isang calculator na nasa ganung price range. Pwede naman akong mangistorbo ng isang tao para hiraman ng calculator, pero naisip ko kelangan ko pa rin naman talaga. Kakailanganin ko din naman ng isa eventually, so bili nalang ako. Pero kung makahiram ako, may oras ako para suyurin ang scientific calculator market upang makahanap ng magandang produkto na competitive ang presyo. Pero maganda naman talaga yung tatlong libong calculator at malaki ang matutulong sa akin nung mga features nya. After a moderate level of thought, bumalik ako sa counter, hiningi yung calculator at nagbayad. Bagsak ng P2,980.00.
Pagkalabas ko hinabol ako ng isang batang lalaki na nagbebenta ng sampaguita. "Kuya bente pesos lang po. Pambaon ko lang bukas. Para makauwi na ako". Hindi ko sya pinansin sa loob ng sampung segundo. Sinarado ko ang pinto. Napaisip ako sandali. Sabi ko sa pinsan ko "nakakaguilty naman yon". Pero bago sya makapagsalita eh pinaatras na ako ng isang babae at isang lalake na mukhang nakauniporme pa na pang-eskwela. Nagbagsak ako ng limampiso para sa tulong nilang dalawa sa pagatras ko.
Anti-capitalist ako. Isa sa mga batikos sa kapitalismo ay ang di angkop na sweldo sa mga gawa. Sabi sa 'Communist Manifesto' nina Marx at Engels, ang isang tao ay kayang gumawa ng labor sa isang araw na ang katumbas na pera ay sobra-sobra pa sa kailangan nya para sa isang araw. Pero ganito talaga sa kapitalismo eh, hindi tama ang nabibigay na wage sa isang manggagawa. Essential ang ganun sa pagkapitalismo. Kelangan mababa ang wage para mura ang mga goods. Isipin mo kung gaano kahirap magpasibol ng kamatis at isipin mo kung magkano ang kamatis.
Pero sobrasobrang guilty ako sa kapitalismo na yan eh. Prenteng-prente ako ngayon dahil sa kapitalismo. Sinusubukan ko i-justify yung mga kapitalistang gawain ko: sa ganitong lagay namn ng kapitalismo eh hindi mabubuhay ang isang tao kung iiwasan mo ang bunga ng kapitalismo. Dapat hindi ka nagaaral. Magtatanim ka ng sarili mong kakainin. Gagawa ka ng sariling damit. Dapat hindi ka gumagamit ng pera. Imposible yon. At isa pa, sa Communist Manifesto uli, inevitable ang pagbagsak ng kapitalismo. Di kelangan pilitin ang pagbagsak ng kapitalismo, o pigilan ang pagusbong nito. It will occur naturally, at the right time.
Kahit kelan naman apprehensive ako magbigay ng limos. Apprehensive bumili ng kung ano man sa naglalako. Ewan ko ba. Siguro kasi labag sa batas ang magbigay ng limos. Pero mali ba na magbigay ng limos? Pero dun sa naglalako, hindi ba tama lang na bigyan sya ng premium kasi dagdag labor ang ginagawa nya? Palagi kong sinusubukan ijustify kung magbibigay ba ako ng limos o hindi. Kase ibibigay lang nila yung limos sa sindikato. Kasi ibibili lang nila ng drugs. Pero sino ba tayo para husgaan sila? Sige na, labag na sa batas ang magbigay limos. E paano dun sa nagbebenta ng sampaguita? Eh wala naman ako sa market para bumili ng sampaguita. It's easier to do nothing.
Ewan ko. Sa tingin ko pa rin dapat binili ko yung bente pesos na sampaguita. Para sana nakauwi na sya. Para sana may pambaon sya bukas. Wala sa isip ko, pero nagkaroon ng punto sa buhay ng tatay ko na nagbebenta din sya ng sampaguita sa kalye. At tingnan mo sya ngayon. Tingnan nyo ako ngayon. Ibili man nya ng droga yung bente pesos na dapat binigay ko sa kanya, at least masaya sya.
Si Thomas Malthus ang nagpauso nito eh. Ang solusyon nya sa mga 'impoverished populace na nagiging nuisance' ay bigyan sila ng moral restraint. Meron pa nga syang sinasabi tungkol sa abolition of poor laws na naghirap sa condition ng mga mahihirap pero pinababa naman ang poverty. Ambigat no.
Dapat ba natin pagbigyan ang mga namamalimos o bumili ng sampaguita dahil sa awa? Mas makakasama ba kung itotolerate natin sila? Kung bumili tayo ng sampaguita sa isang bata, hindi ba natin sinusuportahan ang child labor?
Nakakaradam pa rin ako ng guilt. Gusto kong gumawa ng bagay para naman mabawi ko yung ginawa ko sa bata.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
It failed to wake its owner up for a jogging session with ate Lea and for an ES12 class where a seatwork was going to be conducted.
Attemps to ressurect the said phone was conducted after the owner got home. It was plugged into a charger, its battery was removed, but all attempts were in vain. For a brief moment a hard reset was possible, but the procedure was futile. As of this writing there are no signs of life whatsoever. However it is still connected to a life support (USB port) when possible.
This weekend the PDA phone will try to barter for its life with God. A miracle will be expected by the end of next week.
Whether or not Lazarus will still be in it's cave next week, its owner will conduct an experiment he was wanting to do ever since. This experiment will be in conjunction with his principles about advancements in communications.
During the first week of September (September 4-9), the owner will not be using his PDA. He promises to resort to more natural means of communications, like letters, landline calls, and most especially actual, personal, and non-artificial conversations.
(The owner has actually already recieved his first letter just this day - a direct result of the death of his phone. He expects more)
This experiment aims to detract the subject from their dependence to such devices. It stems from the owner's idea that just several years ago we were doing fine without these mediums of communication. "Why shouldn't we be able to cope without them now?"
Truly, the proposed procedure will reap benefits. It will be difficult for the subject but he is ready and willing to face the dangers of the procedures of the experiment.
The problem is with the other people not subjected to the procedures. If ever the need to converse with the subject of the experiment, it will be difficult for them to do so. Moreover, conflicts are bound to be generated if ever the subject is wished to be contacted by a certain party but the party has no idea about the experiment taking place. The owner plans to initiate an auto-reply device which will automatically inform anyone who contacts the subject through his PDA. Proposed automated reply reads something like this:
"er, sorry since thursday kase namatay ang telepono ko. hanggang ngayon hindi pa sya nabubuhay so lahat ng texts/tawag na matatanggap ng teleponong ito ay hindi ko mababasa/masasagot. contact nyo nalang ako by other means. sorry abala pa.
automated message nga pala ito kaya wag na kayo magreply dito"
Aside from cellular phone features, the owner will also be excommunicated from PDA features as a result of the experiment. The owner will have to resort to other means to wake him up, remind him where his next class is or about the tasks he needs to accomplish over the week.
The owner hopes to learn a lot about the experiment and hopes that it would forge stronger communication ties.